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Santa's Slay(2005)- David Steiman

First of all, do not take this movie too seriously. You will be better off if you do that. Why? Well, the main plot of this movie involves Santa Claus going on a killing spree. Now that sounds more funny than scary when you really think about it. Seriously, can you honestly see Santa Claus killing people and not laugh at it? And it's even funnier when Santa Claus is played by none other than Goldberg. Yes, Goldberg the wrestler is the main character in the film! If you still can't believe that Goldberg is Santa Claus, just wait until he kills people with wrestling moves. I am not making this up, he kills people with piledrivers and spears.

Besides Goldberg playing Santa Claus, the opening scene is pretty hilarious as well as Chris Kattan, Fran Drescher(The Nanny), Rebecca Gayheart, James Caan(Sonny from the Godfather), and two other girls get massacred by Goldberg. But wait, is there more to this movie than just Goldberg and a bunch of semi-famous Celebrities being killed? Not really. What about the plot? Besides the Santa Claus thing, it's really just two teenagers running away from their would-be killer. Yea, how many times have we heard this one before? But what the dialogue? The dialogue consists of mostly Christmas Puns, toilet humor, and a bunch of curses. Count the number of curses in this film and I guarantee you, you will get to about forty or fifty. But what about....

Listen, this is a movie with explosions, Goldberg as Santa Claus, the Nanny being slaughtered, nice bare boobs, and a claymation scene all thrown into one. So don't expect an oscar winning film or even a horror classic, just except a funny killing movie and you will be fine.

Final Review- 8/10 as a comedy
5/10 as an actual horror film
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Wild Country(2005) directed and written by Craig Strachan

Plot: Kelly Ann, a Scottish Teenager who has just given her baby up for adoption is trying to move on with her life as she and her four friends hike in the Scottish Highlands. Unfortunately for them, werewolves are on the loose and begin to stalk the teenagers once they realize that one of them have taken their offspring from their lair.

My Thoughts: A low budget Scottish horror film with nothing but Scottish actors in it. Now before this, how many Scottish Horror Films have you honestly heard of with all Scottish actors? By the way, the Scottish accents are pretty understandable. You might have trouble picking it up at first but it's not something that you will be struggling with throughout the film.  The acting is pretty solid considering that most of the actors are teenagers with little acting experience.

Clocking in at 72 minutes, the movie wastes no time introducing us to the characters and setting up the story. Out of all the characters, the ones to really keep an eye out for are Kelly Ann, Lee, and perhaps their friend Mark. This trio is special because they last the longest, the rest of the characters are killed off pretty quickly and are not really memorable.

The beginning of the film is filled with some humorous scenes but they aren't too funny in my honest opinion.
After about 18 minutes of the teenagers roughing it out camping, the action train sets off at full speed and never really stops. So if you are looking for a movie that does not waste time getting to the action, then you might enjoy this. For the next 54 minutes, we see Kelly Ann and her friends trying to escape the werewolves longing for their blood and attempting to get its baby back that Kelly Ann and Lee found and took from the ruins of a castle.

The plot is okay but it's nothing special. One thing that I am going to nit-pick is the idea that these werewolves are as smart as any human being and much agile and powerful than them, despite this they allow the surviving trio of Mark, Lee, and Kelly Ann to stay in their castle for the night. Seriously? These werewolves can kill all three in an instant, so why not kill off the remaining survivors instead of giving them time to formulate a plan to kill them? Doesn't make sense really. Anyways, this poor decision really does backfire on one of the werewolves as they actually manage to kill it. But before it's death, we get a good look at it and I must say the werewolf costume is just laughable. It looked more like some sort of pig buffalo than a real legit werewolf. I know you have a low budget but still you can do better than that. 

As the movie reaches its climax, we are given one gory death. So if you are looking for truly gory stuff, this might not be the place for you. All the other deaths were just people screaming as the werewolf approached and then a shot of the aftermath of the dead body. But this death is different as the werewolf who somehow someway got inside of a cattle ripped through it and bites a huge chunk of a farmer's side. It was the only shocker of the film really as everything else was pretty much predictable. If your looking for real gore, this is your scene. Nothing else is really that gory.

Overall, this movie is decent but it's no classic. Just like some of its characters, it's not too memorable but this does get the job down if you're bored one night and want to see something. By the way, the last scene is pretty cheesy.

The Verdict- 5/10
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