My Review for Panic Button (2011) 11/09/2011
Originally written for www.horroryearbook.com  In 2011, there have been very few horror films that have actually delivered the goods. In fact, over the last decade, it has seemed that the best films have been coming from across the pond, most notably from Spain, France, and jolly old England. The English has been exporting plenty of quality programs to American audiences over the last few years spanning from The Mighty Boosh, both versions of the Office and an American remake of Shameless on Showtime to miniseries/films such as Dead Set, Colin, and the new film Panic Button which has definitely lived up to the hype it has had before this review. The plot of the film involves 4 strangers named Jo, Max, Gwen, and Dave who have been invited onto a private jet to compete against each other to win prizes in a sweepstakes held by Norwegian social networking site All2gethr. At first the contestants are all drinking champagne and remaining relaxed having a wonderful time, but by the third round of games it is evident to everyone that this isn’t a simple competition and that their lives are all in danger. The crew on the film did a fantastic job on almost every aspect. The acting was superb and while watching the film I was truly drawn in and actually felt the fear the characters were suffering on the claustrophobic jet. The film kept me in suspense and when I thought I knew what was gonna happen in the end, two separate plot twists caught me off guard and added a little extra oomph to the overall tone of the film. The sad thing about this film is that the characters set themselves up for this because of what they had posted on the internet and for what they had done in the past. It’s the traditional human fault plot device along with revenge and the sense that no one can be trusted. While my suspension of disbelief was at Saw levels (in fact you could put Jigsaw as the main villain and call this Saw and the ending felt very tacked on and shoved into the film in order to give the contest reason, the film is truly among the best of the year and proves that while a lot of shit is being put into the theaters nowadays, there are still plenty of great independent ventures out there being released all the time. 8/10 12 Comments I'm back baby and better than ever with plenty of dvds you should pick up next paycheck or whenever you are browsing Amazon.  More Brains!: A Return to the Living Dead From the creators of the Never Sleep Again documentary comes another solid feature that goes far behind the scenes of the classic 80's zombie film, Return of the Living Dead. The DVD also has other kick ass features to go along with the doc such as shorter retrospectives for the second and third films, a look at the film's locations today, a music video for "Tonight" by Stacey Q and the last interview Dan O'Bannon ever had. If Clu Gulager and James Karen don't entertain you enough during the doc to make this worth your money, then you truly have no soul and deserve to die. 8/10  In A Glass Cage (AKA Tras El Cristal) Cult Epics has released this DVD one year before the film celebrates it's 15th anniversary and it has really been very far under the radar. Not only is this one of the most disturbing cult classics from the 80s, but this is potentially the best DVD release of the year. The film is beautifully remastered in a new high definition transfer (1.85:1 Anamorphic Widescreen) with a 5.1 surround sound and some sweet extras such as short films and a Q&A with Agusti Villaronga. Great film, great DVD, well worth the price tag. 10/10  Not Another B Movie The first of Troma's five best acquisitions of this year, John Wesley Norton's film is a great example of what Troma should be acquiring for distribution instead of crap like Eyes of the Chameleon. It's witty, goofy, and it hits the nail on the head when dealing with what it is trying to accomplish. It focuses on three business partners, a writer and his two shallow minded associates (who happen to be the producer and director of most of his ventures) spit-balling ideas about what their new feature should be and how the plot should go. While the acting is lacking in parts and the waitress seems to be a tad thrown into the movies plot,the partners' conversation in the restaurant and the "cop scenes" (with David Faustino and Joe Estevez stealing the spotlight) should be enough to entertain the viewer. Not bad for a film about brainstorming ideas and discovering self value. 7.5/10  Psycho Sleepover This film has just about everything that you'd expect from a Troma release: Hot chicks, humor, violence, over the top scenarios, and enough silliness that would hopefully keep any audience from believing that this is a serious movie. The movies main points are the last half an hour, the very campy acting (benefiting the film), the isolated location, and the first, second and third twists which all added to the zany plot the film was going with. The main bad points I have about the film are that it should possibly have been a little less over the top silly (you'll know what I mean when you watch it) and the character of Mrs. Dicky. With few truly bad points, I'd say this warrants at least a couple of views. 7.5/10 Review Quickies 09/20/2011
Well I've been spending most of the past few months trying to outsource a bit and to be honest, I've been slacking. I've been posting my reviews on message boards all over the place but I haven't been posting many here. You know the drill, here's my thoughts on some of this year's releases that I haven't really touched upon here on HMC.  Highway 91 - This is easily the best independent zombie film of the year so far. Alot of people have been praising it on the level of it being superior to The Walking Dead but I tend to disagree. Being that I am a fan and friend of Sonny Fernandez, I think that this film has more positives than negatives. The plot is fairly well written, the action scenes are actually choreographed and scored very well, and I was really drawn into the film and I couldn't stop watching it (I felt like I did while I would watch an episode of Dark Shadows). The two main problems were the spotty acting in certain scenes that could rival the voice-over work for most Capcom games and that the special effects felt like a big step down from his usual standard. Solid film overall and I'll keep an eye out for Sonny's future releases. 8/10  The Millenium Bug - This is another contender for the best independent release of the year. I really dug the prosthetic style of special effects as it made the monster look very cool and gave the scenes it was in a very refreshing feel. Like Highway 91, this film was also affected by bad acting but on a much larger scale. The actors sounded stiff and the lines delivered had less effect because of it. The action scenes could also have been better but overall I was tuned in for the full run of the film and it turned out to be better than most of the schlock that the SyFy channel runs nowadays. 7.5/10  Killer Yacht Party - Meh. Typical slasher with very predictable yet slightly impossible ending. Haven't we seen a lot of these before? The nudity and gore levels are at a pleasant high but it fails when you don't have interesting characters. In fact, the majority of them annoyed me to tears. One of the main characters, a fairly beautiful looking girl, is treated as though she is Quasimodo. Overall it's ok but it's not something I'll be re-watching anytime soon. 5.5/10  Eyes of the Chameleon - I'll only say one good thing about this film. It will be a great example of how not to advance your plot when making a movie. I mean it's bad enough that the only thing this film has going for it is the small amounts of nudity and gore that it contains but the main character is the BIGGEST FUCKING BITCH EVER TO GRACE THE SMALL SCREEN. Now this may be due to the actress's horrible acting, not to say she was the only bad actor, but her lines sure don't help her case. When someone close to her is found dead, her first and second reactions are to complain about being woken up and then show mild signs of being sad. WHO THE FUCK ACTS LIKE THAT? It kind of seems like there was something else she said before this part that was cut out, but it's obviously not the case. The ending was also awful, but after all the pacing problems and everything else wrong, I was just happy to see this end. 2/10 This is the first review of this product available (to my knowledge). I recieved this from CAV Distributing on behalf of Troma along with the Dennis Woodruff Collection Vol.1 . The press release for this does not list a specific date that it will be released but I believe it's slated for a release within the next few months. There is seemingly no information about it anywhere on the internet (I couldn't even find a picture of the cover, so I took my own), so let this be your guide until other sites like "Fangoria" bury this into obscurity with their "brilliant" articles. Long live independent cinema, and long live Troma!!! - James Burden EDIT: (8/4/11) Just found out this will be released in 5 days on August 9th, 2011. GO GET IT!!!  This is a great way to start off my return. I am a huge fan of Troma and I am also looking into film being a career for me in the future. I own 41 DVDs that Troma has released including the Make Your Own Damn Movie! and Direct Your Own Damn Movie! dvd boxsets. As far I see it, Lloyd is a testament to anybody who wants to achieve their goals. He started off with nobody knowing him and, after some ups and downs, is arguably the most well respected figure in independent cinema. He has been a leader and avid supporter in the field for almost 40 years and has written several books to guide the future filmmakers of the world in order to ensure their success. His Make Your Own Damn Movie! dvd was the first video guide he released. 5 DVDs and about 12 hours long, it gives you a great overview about the main points of making a film. Ever since then, he has been releasing more books and video guides in order to elaborate on specific parts of the film making process and this is his third dvd guide. The first thing to note is that while MYODM! and DYODM! are 5 and 4 disc sets respectively, the PYODM! set is just 2 discs. There are no documentaries such as All the Love You Cannes on the set and instead Lloyd has taken the route of showing what other independent film makers have done to ensure that their visions get seen on screen while still adding his two cents into the mix. He does this by basically doing alot of shooting behind the scenes of alot of indie films he has cameos in. He also offers a few lessons like making a green screen (in a segment involving Greg Lamberson of Slime City fame), how to take advantage of the possible tax incentives your state may have, and even how to get chicks to get naked for your film. He also has experts like Herschell Gordon Lewis (Wizard of Gore, Blood Feast, 2000 maniacs), which is a must watch segment in my opinion, and James Gunn (Slither, Tromeo and Juliet). All of that pretty much encompasses the first disc. I do wish that Lloyd would have talked a little more about his experiences in the past for producing Troma films. Disc two is what I like to call the "nitty gritty" and that is the interviews. Lloyd has gotten some great people to help out including the legendary Roger Corman (Producer of over 200 films),David Cronenberg (Scanners, Videodrome),Joe Dante (Piranha, Gremlins, The Howling), Mick Garris (various Stephen King adaptions) and many more. The notible absences from this dvd that were on the past two releases were Matt Stone and Trey Parker, and Eli Roth. This is probably because of scheduling conflicts but atleast Lloyd made up for it with the other filmmakers. Overall this is a great release if you are looking into a future as a filmmaker or if you are just a fan of independent cinema. The MYODM! book started the madness and after 3 other books and two more dvd releases, here we are still learning some new tricks to the trade. Lloyd is currently in production for the dvd adaption of his latest book Sell Your Own Damn Movie! and I cannot wait for it. Long live Lloyd and Long live Troma!!!  Upcoming Troma Reviews: Dennis Woodruff Collection Vol. 1 Eyes of the Chameleon Killer Yacht Party Hey everybody. April was a hectic and terrible month for me. I had planned Troma month then had undergone even more personal problems with the family which kept me off the site for awhile. I was still online and such, but I was unable to keep the site updated. During the time I was gone, I received 4 DVDs in the mail from CAV Distributing. Three of them were late 70's/early 80's erotica films while the other was a documentary. I'll keep the erotica reviews noticeably shorter due to the genre not being my forte. I also won't rate the three Erotica films. All four films are in Italian with English subtitles and this is the first time all of these are for sale in the states.  Sex and Black Magic --------------------------- Plot: An aging couple journey to the Caribbean in hopes of assisting the intimacy in their love life. Unfortunately, they meet unruly natives and encounter a little black magic. ---------------------------- My Thoughts: This was the first of the three I watched and I immediately became aware of the differences between these films and current day softcore porn that you would see on HBO or Cinemax. Erotica from the past actually seemed to want to develop story along with showing some skin, not just spurting out goofy phrases like "Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen!" (also a line from Aliens). Luckily for fans of the genre, this is a fine piece. It's shot very well, has a great soundtrack of soft music, and also stars the beautiful Lucia Ramirez in the lead. Thumbs up from me. --------------- Note: There are also extra hardcore inserts that were shot for an alternate release of the film. These shots are actually pretty steamy and also get a thumbs up, although there is the view through the guys legs from the back underneath the balls.  Sexy Pirates --------------------- The Plot: The ambassador to King Charles II is on his way to Jamaica to sign a peace treaty with the French and gets captured by pirates before he can arrive. His wife is left with two options. She can give them what they want, or she can resist their threats. ------------------------ My Thoughts: This film, directed by Joe D' Amato (same director of Sex and Black Magic) , is almost as good as Sex and Black Magic. Both are just as entertaining as the other and both have beautiful women and both tienen muchos pechos grandes. In fact, if both movies toned down a tad of the sexual seduction and the nudity, you could probably pass both of these off as non-erotic material. This is another film for the genre fans. -------------------------------------------- Note: No special features for this one.  Transgression --------------- The Plot: A stressed out college student takes some drugs to chill out and relieve some of his pressure. Unfortunately, he becomes overwhelmed with a new kind of stress as he hallucinates and imagines up a new lover that will teach him everything about sex. -------------- My Thoughts: Transgression - a noun meaning infringement or violation of a law, command, or duty. In other words, it's a sin and this movie is full of it. Being the first of the three that truely feels 100% like an erotic film, Transgression kicks it up a notch in the lust department. The story is a step down from the other two as this film seems clouded between the idea of glorifying sexual nature and disapproving the use of hallucinogenic drugs such as LSD. At some points it feels like Reefer Madness and others like Vamp Vixens. If you're a fan of erotica, you'll probably like it but if you aren't you won't. ----------------- Note: Special features include Deleted scenes, a trailer, and a photo gallery.  The Real Cannibal Holocaust (1976) ------------------------ Plot: A movie crew go to Papua New Guinea to shoot a documentary for the British queen so that she can learn of the native culture of the newly independant land. The crew uncovered the, at the time, shocking and exotic (perhaps even barbaric) ways of the "savages". ------------------------ My Thoughts: Originally released under the title Nuova Guinea, l'isola dei cannibali (or New Guinea, Island of the Cannibals), this film was shot to help educate about this certain group. In the documentary/shockumentary/mondo film, you will observe funeral rituals, tattoo rituals, piercing rituals, how the natives perceive pride, and how they traditionally carry out their everyday activities which may happen to include eating the flesh of a dead loved one that's full of maggots, ripping apart a monkey, or having sex in the jungle. By today's standards, this isn't nearly as shocking as it was back then. Of course now we have the Discovery channel, but back then it seemed that pieces such as this or Faces of Death sort of desensitized the audiences that viewed it. Nowadays you can go google decapitations for a gruesome time, but back in the 80s and 70s, the horror genre reenacted such acts for the viewers to see. Cannibal Holocaust shocked alot of people, but documentaries like this showed exactly how the people worked. I'm not saying that some tribes don't put people on pikes or castrate males, because alot of them probably do, but this shows the humanity that the people do possess. They don't just kill and eat people, they just have a separate way of thinking and different beliefs. The documentary is very good but there is one thing that bugs me. I don't know if it's real or if it's fake. Alot of it seems legit but during the ending it seems like it could've been set up. It could be like Faces of Death, just with less dramatized stuff filled in or it could be just like Cannibal Holocaust only turned down a step or two. Either way you'll enjoy watching it because I know I did. ----------------------------------------- The Verdict: 9.5/10, Watch it!!! --------------------------- Note: No special features. :( I would like to thank CAV Distributing again for the DVDs. I'll also be keeping an eye out for more releases from One7 movies. You can purchase these titles and more from http://www.cavd.com/index.php or Amazon.com. Sexy Pirates wasn't on Amazon when I checked, but it could possibly be after this is posted. CD Universe also has them for sale. The 2nd annual Birdie Awards 04/05/2011
Welcome to the Second annual Birdie Awards everyone. This is the only awards show on the net where any film from any year that I've reviewed in the past year has a chance to win. Due to the great feedback I got back from last year's awards show, I've added two brand new categories. Let's get this show on the road. First award is for Best Documentary/Documentary series. The nominees are: Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy the Final 24 series Fan of the Dead Popatopolis And the Winner is........ Never Sleep Again The Elm Street Legacy - What can I possibly say to praise this any more than myself and everyone else already has? It's the most in-depth, informational, yet entertaining discussion about any horror movie that has ever been made. I said before that it is the best and it truly is. It seems that it was everything that His Name Was Jason wanted to be and more. It's such a great watch that I've sat through it four times. That's 16 hours I've gladly spent watching this and everytime I can't help but delve myself deeper and deeper into it. Truly remarkable and it is truly the model for future horror documentaries to come. Next up is Best Slasher Movie. The nominees are: Gutterballs Spirit Camp Blood Junkie Blood Oath Berdella And the winner is........ Spirit Camp - This probably surprises a lot of you as I scored both Berdella and Gutterballs higher than this originally. The thing is that in preparation for this show, I had to rewatch quite a few films that were nominated in closer categories like this one. Berdella kind of wore off, but after three times watching through both Spirit Camp and Gutterballs, I decided that Spirit Camp edged out as the better film. Why did it win? The ending. While watching Gutterballs, I picked up on alot of key elements that helped me pinpoint who the killer was and I had been right. In Spirit Camp, I guessed incorrectly throughout the whole film until it was revealed at the end. Predictability can kill the overall feel of a movie and sadly because of this, Gutterballs didn't win the award. Best Sequel, Fan Film or Remake is up next. The nominees are: Slime City Massacre Legends: A Friday the 13th Tale Bikini Bloodbath Christmas And the winner is....... Slime City Massacre - This was a easy one to give to director Greg Lamberson as I didn't really review much else in this category. SCM did a great job of elaborating on the backstory of the elixir and Himalayan yogurt and explaining exactly why it had the effect it did without disappointing fans of the original. Best Director: Ryan Nicholson (Gutterballs) Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson (The Taint) Larry Gamber (Isle of the Damned) Cory J. Udler (Incest Death Squad) And the winner(s) is/are......... Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson - The Taint was the funniest movie I watched all last year yet it's also a gruesomely awesome horror film as well. It's witty, it's raw (Oh do I love it raw!!!), it's cheesy, it's fucking awesome. I applaud their sick sense of humor, their use of mainly non-CGI effects, and the energy that their film radiates onto me. These two made their money's worth with this film. Best Character in an Independent Movie: Phil O'Ginny (The Taint) Milos (A Serbian Film) Mr. Harker (Satan Hate's You) Klaus (Staplerfahrer Klaus) Jack Steele (Isle of the Damned) And the winner is....... Milos from A Serbian Film - While I loved all of the characters on this list, and the other four nominees cracked me up and were as memorable, Milos just pulled me into the movie and truely distanced himself from the others. Srdjan Todorovic gives a stunningly beautiful performance that honestly made me uneasy while watching the film. At some moments, I was shocked at what I was seeing along with Milos. I felt bad that he was in that situation and I could truely relate with his urge to gain back what he has lost. Worst Movie: A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) The Great American Snuff Film Maskhead Slices of Life And the winner/loser is....... The Great American Snuff Film - If you want to know why, just watch it. Maskhead lacked about everything. Nightmare lacked the feel of the original, failed to capture any scares, and was full of tween hack-tors and hack-tresses.Slice of Life lacked a great plot, original stories, good effects, non asshole-ish actors, a humble director, and ripped off so many movies before it (Seriously, I can't fucking understand why the hell it was praised so damn much.). But I'll be struck down by a zeppelin if The Great American Snuff Film isn't one of the biggest wastes of time I have ever seen. Best Movie: The Taint Gutterballs A Serbian Film Berdella Isle of the Damned Incest Death Squad And the winner is........ A Serbian Film - I hate to praise a film that has become "popular" with the "sheeple" based just off one scene to the point where it is overhyped and overrated to most of the people who hear about it (*cough* Human Centipede *cough*), but this was the best film of last year hands down. The story is top notch, the acting is almost flawless, and the overall feeling that the movie gives the viewer is one that switches from depressing to gut-wrenching in a way that can't be beat. I'm honestly still waiting for a DVD of this so that I can rewatch it on my big screen. Bravo to the Serbs. You take home top honors for the year. And that wraps up another year for HMC. Next year will be better I can guarantee that. Thanks to everyone who supports the site. I love every single one of you. Welcome back sirs and mams to the place for all of your true horror business. I review alot of films for you guys and well, I really enjoy it. That's why I love getting exclusive content like this to review before it get's a street date because then I can possibly sway you into purchasing a product on DVD/BLU-RAY or I can tell you to burn all of the remaining prints of a film. Now, since last Friday was April 1st, I bet you all thought I watched April Fool's Day and that would be what I would've reviewed next. Well fuck you I'm not a sheep. I hate that film with a passion and I'll save that for a more appropriate time when words aren't so costly. In two days, It'll be time for the 2nd Annual Birdie Awards so I must give something new a chance to win a category, and that's where Blood Junkie and Blood Oath come in. In fact I must say that for this whole month, besides the awards show of course, I'm going to be spending most of my time reviewing nothing but Troma flicks. That's right, April is TROMA MONTH!!!!!!!!!!  BLOOD JUNKIE (2010) ------------------------- Plot: Two high school babes, two happening dudes, and a boy who's five dollars richer all set off on a camping trip full of drinking and sex. The females and guys are expecting a party, but what they get is a massacre!!!! --------------------- My Thoughts: Now this first film was marketed completely as an 80s styled slasher film shot as though it were made back then. And for once, I can say that this was executed as perfectly as it could have been done. It had everything that epitomizes the archetypal slasher flick of that decade. Decent story with small explanations as the film progresses, fun/creative kills, and one bad-ass looking killer (note: This last part isn't necessarily always true. Memorial Valley Massacre Anyone? Followed the formula but had a fucking caveman as the killer. Ugh we'll get back to that later on.) I'm not gonna lie, this film bothered the shit out of me (In the annoying department not the disturbing one.). First off, the acting is really strange. When listening to the people speak, you can't tell if it's horrible acting or if it's just overacting on purpose and that distracts the viewer while he's/she's trying to pay attention to the story. One second I'm listening to the two guys talk about picking up chicks and then it cuts to the two girls who are saying, "I like love beer alot. Could you do us a favor and let us buy some AAAAALLLLLCOHOOOOOL?" as those they were the goofiest chicks to ever walk the earth. The other big thing that annoyed me was that besides the opening scene, it's about an hour until we even see the killer. And with a run-time of only 72 minutes, that's not good. If you are a fan of 80s slashers, you'll love this film as it truely does portray itself as an 80s styled slasher. The ending, while I don't see how it makes sense, is a nice one with a decent twist and the Friday the 13th-esque kills should keep atleast some people happy. ----------------------------------------------------------- The Verdict: 7.8/10  Blood Oath (2010) ------------------------------- Plot: A couple took a blood oath to insure that their newborn twins and crops would be saved, but instead they are tricked into a deal with the devil ending in a car crash in which the couple died, one of the twins was ejected from the vehicle and the other burned alive in the fire and left disfigured yet alive. Fast forward many years later, a group of friends go off to investigate the urban legend of the disfigured twin roaming the woods killing people. ------------------------------------ My thoughts: Unlike Blood Junkie which takes place in the 80s and goes for that retro feel, Blood Oath is just simply put an 80s throwback. It's story is the traditional "Let's look to see if he really exists" plot that killed so many teens back then. The acting is a drastic improvement over Blood Junkie. It's as if the actors in Junkie were just pals of the director and the ones in Oath are seasoned vets. I can actually sense changes in emotion and everything you'd expect. The kills are in some ways are an improvement too as they are insanely gory compared to the one's in Junkie. The acting and kills just add more scoops of deliciousness to the top of the decent enough story. THE THING THAT KILLS THIS MOVIE THOUGH IS THE FUCKING LAME-ASS KILLER! Remember how I said I'd bring up Memorial Valley Massacre again? Well that's the first thing I thought about was MVM's goddamn caveman. The killer looks like the product of Howard Stern, Captain Caveman, Fred Flinstone, and Andre the Giant's mixed up spooge that's used to artificially inseminate Whoopi Goldberg. It kills the whole mythology and ruins the feel and atmosphere that the movie had set up as before. And it just drives the idea even more that if you don't have an intimidating killer then your film won't succeed. If the killer looked different and looked more disturbing then I'd gladly give this a score of a 9/10 but I can't. It just distracts and takes away from the movie far too much. I'd say that as Blood Junkie is recommended for slasher fiends, then I'd have to recommend Blood Oath to fans of over the top cheesy flicks or especially to Troma fans. ------------------------------------------- The Verdict: 7.5/10 I would like to thank CAV Distributing and Troma for the movies they sent me to review. Both are available right now for pre-order on Amazon.com and Troma.com. Both will be available online on April 12th and in stores on May 10th So pre-order them now so that you could get them as soon as possible. Movies I Like Volume 1. 02/19/2011
So I was sitting in my room this morning, playing Dead Rising 2 and eating some flapjacks, when something came across my mind. I looked up at horror movie posters and then I turned around and looked at my monsterous wall of DVDs. Now, I was suddenly overcome with a major reminder of something that I needed to do. I NEEDED TO WRITE A NEW REVIEW. It's been over a month since my last review but I'm back from my hiatus with a new "segment" I would like to call "Movies I Like". It's an easy way for you all non-sheeple out there to get into my head and get to know more about my taste in film and TV shows. And today I have four choices that are all very different from each other.  First off I'll start with a tv show. An MMA TV show in fact. It's TapOut, a show that aired on Versus back in 2007 and is now on DVD with all 20 episodes in their censored entirety. The main premise of the show is that the TapOut guys (Mask, Punkass, and Skyskrape) are in search of new fighters to help push their label so that it becomes even bigger than it is. There is a fight each episode involving the fighter that's being highlighted. Besides seeing how the fighters prepare for their fights, you also get to see the TapOut crew's zany antics along the way and an inside look of how their business is run. This is one of those shows that I have to watch all night because it's so good. I've done that with other shows like Tales From The Crypt, Tales From The Darkside, The Ultimate Fighter, and 1st and Ten (Oh I'll get to that eventually). It's just addicting to watch and I definitely recommend this to anyone who is a fan of Reality TV or Mixed Martial Arts. Verdict: 9.5/10 for the whole series on DVD. R.I.P Mask.  The next one is sort of hard to recommend to you guys. It's got goofy computerized special effects, an anticlimactic ending, and John Leguizamo playing a sometimes funny but really annoying role as a clown. That's right, it's a movie that people love to shit on, 1997's Spawn. When a hired killer named Al is dicked over by his boss, "Violator" and the Devil himself, he is hellbent for revenge as the world's greatest Anti-Hero aptly named "SPAWN". When his world is turned upside down, he looks for a way back to sanctity all in the name of love. As a big fan of the comic books, I rather enjoyed this flick. It's not fantastic but it's still a good adaption of a dark comic book. In fact, it's one of my favorite comic book movies. Michael Jai White does a great job as our hero (as does Martin Sheen as Wynn), the story is actually written fairly well for the screen, the action is cool and it's basically a nerd's wet dream. In all it's a tame dream that could involve more tense orgasmic bliss, but hopefully there will eventually be a sequel for that (and may White reprise his role). Verdict: 8.5/10  This next one is a sports movie. Well, it's a sports movie that's also a horror-comedy from 1995. It's a wacky, crazy, fun filled 87 minutes of cheese about a killer with a basketball mask and some of the most inventive ideas of killing/ hurting people (Well, not entirely). I'm of course referring to "Night of the Dribbler". The film stars the late great character actor Fred Travalena in several roles ranging from announcer, to reporter, to coach, to detective. This is definitely one of those really dumb movies that just cheers me the fuck up whenever I even put it near my DVD player. It's got it's share of dumb jokes, but it's got it's share of goofy puns and enough schlock to keep cheese fans like myself rewatching it over and over. I dare to say that I like it more than most Troma flicks. Verdict: The casual viewer may give it below a 5, but I give it an 8/10. Code Red did horror fans a great justice by releasing this. Keep a look out for more classic and rare horror from them in the future.  The last film is my favorite of the bunch and it's quality on the screen is reflected in the various other reviews all over the internet. It's one of my favorite horror flicks of all time, and it's Dark Night of the Scarecrow. The movie is about a young girl named Marylee and her friend Bubba, a mentally challenged 30-40 something year old that is hated by the "working men" of the community. When Marylee is viciously attacked by a dog and thought to be dead, these "men" exact revenge by chasing Bubba into a cornfield where they unjustly execute him as he is hiding in a scarecrow outfit. When these "men" are found not responsible for their actions in the court of law, they are mysteriously being picked off one by one in "accidents". Is Bubba killing these men from beyond the grave? I can't find anything that I hate about this film. Simply put, it's the best made-for-television movie I have ever seen. Not just horror either. It's the best of all the genres. It has a brilliant script, superb acting all around (especially Larry Drake as Bubba), inventive deaths, great atmosphere, perfect scenery, and suspense that would make Hitchcock tip his hat. I'll sum up my thoughts on this film with just a few quotes from genre greats: "Terrific script...terrific film!" - Ray Bradbury "Scary as Hell!" - Stuart Gordon "Mar-vel-ous! I was terrified!" - Vincent Price Verdict: 10/10. A classic that you must watch. My Review of The Taint (2010) 12/16/2010
 The Plot: The water source of a small town is tainted with an experimental "male enhancement" solution that is turning men into raging misogynists. It is up to Phil O'Ginny and his acquaintance Misandra to combat the horrible evil aptly titled "The Taint". Can they survive in a world gone bat-shit crazy? Can a cure be found for "The Taint" or will society be digressed even further to a land of guys with raging testosterone levels and women filled with fear? I'd describe it even farther as "The Crazies on a binge of LSD and Enzyte". -------------------------------- My Thoughts: My mailman must really hate me. He delivers around 10 dvds a months to me and does his job as good as the next guy. He's an older fella, is always respectful, and is almost always on time. But when he delivered this to me, he dropped down a few pegs in my book. He just happened to read the return address on the package and asked me one of the most awkward questions I've ever been asked by a public service worker, "What is the taint?" While I could have nicely explained that it was a low budget horror film and that I review movies for my own website, I instead took the obvious setup and explained that it is the area in between the balls and the butthole. He, naturally, looked disgusted and walked away quickly. So thanks again for not putting your name on the return address Drew. :D Now onto the film: I've got to be honest with you. It was as good as I expected it to be. I'm almost speechless. In fact, I might go as far as to say that it could be the best independent horror comedy I've seen all year. It is without a doubt the funniest one that I've seen all year. And with only two months before I give out the Birdie Awards, this sure makes it harder to decide any definite winners. I honestly don't have anything bad to say about the movie. The gore effects were amazing, the film was delightfully disgusting, and the story was fairly easy to follow. I liked how flashbacks would delve further into explanations as to what the hell was going on, the main character (portrayed by co-director Drew Bolduc) was likable yet flawed, and that there are plenty of lines that you could quote from the movie. It's well written to the point that the humor is timed well and all of the supporting characters are even enjoyable. The best parts were the misogynists themselves, whether tainted or not. They radiated of the traditional "you need sex to be a man" thought process and exasperated the lengths that men will go to in order to achieve this sensation. The film also has an undertone that I'm hoping others see in this film. Every man in this movie, except for maybe one of the scientists, is by definition a misogynist. It's obvious when it's portrayed through the crazy people with raging boners and violent behavior, but all of the men show some sort of feeling that they believe women aren't at the same social level as men. For example, my personal favorite character, Misandra's husband. Without being tainted, he spends his time on screen talking about how he beats off to a photo of his wife and lusts for her 24/7. It's as if the tainted water doesn't really make them crazy per say as much as it just expells their most intense sexual drives from their mind to where they are forced to act upon their urges (It doesn't help that it also gives them bigger dicks and larger more copious ejaculations). And I've seen this theme of one's hidden dark side being revealed before in a similar film, The Crazies. And trust me, when you have a guy on the internet positively comparing your film to a classic, your film is pretty fucking good. Directors Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson did just that. Go watch it or I'll rip your face off. It's 69 minutes of fun. ------------------------------------------------ The Verdict: 10/10. "Gang rape is not a joke." "We take it very seriously." ------------------------------------------------ Thanks again to director Drew Bolduc for the screener and for helping me mentally scar my old mailman. Thanks to Dan Nelson You can buy the dvd on the film's website: http://www.taintmovie.com/home.html ------------------------------------------------- Nudity note: This film is filled with dongs and there are a few sets of boobs.  Yea I know this isn't horror related but fuck it. I posted this on Amazon and I feel like posting it here. Well I got this 4 days ago from my local F.Y.E. It wasn't until that night that I realized that it actually comes out tomorrow and that someone at F.Y.E must have messed up and put a copy on the shelf. I must say, as more of a fan of Light Heavyweights and Middleweights, this set is awesome. It's only 1 disc and doesn't have any real features (unless you count the "extra" fights),but it's content is worth the $20 I paid for it. Only one of the fights goes to a decision (Big Nog vs Couture), which makes this an exciting compilation for a newer UFC fan or someone who loves watching people drop or tap. The best part in my opinion is the addition of a few Fight Night and UFC on Versus fights never before released on DVD. The "20 Full Fights" in the program are accompanied by a brief setup and are as follows: Tim Sylvia vs Frank Mir from UFC 48 Cro Cop vs Gabriel Gonzaga from UFC 70 Brock Lesnar vs Frank Mir from UFC 81 Christian Wellisch vs Shane Carwin from UFC 84 Fabricio Werdum vs JDS from UFC 90 Randy Couture vs Lesnar from UFC 91 Big Nog vs Mir from UFC 92 Gabriel Gonzaga vs Shane Carwin from UFC 96 Brock Lesnar vs Frank Mir from UFC 100 Tim Hague vs Todd Duffee from UFC 102 Randy Couture vs Big Nog from UFC 102 Roy Nelson vs Brendan Schaub from the Ultimate Fighter 10 Finale Frank Mir vs Cheick Kongo from UFC 107 JDS vs Gilbert Yvel from UFC 108 Big Nog vs Cain Velasquez from UFC 110 JDS vs Gabriel Gonzaga from UFC on Versus * Frank Mir vs Shane Carwin from UFC 111 Roy Nelson vs Stefan Struve from UFC Fight Night * Cro Cop vs Pat Barry from UFC 115 Brock Lesnar vs Shane Carwin from UFC 116 The "Bonus Material" consists of 10 bonus fights, 5 "classic" and 5 modern day, in their entirety as well. The "Bonus Fights" are: Frank Mir vs Brandon Vera from UFC 65 Frank Mir vs Antoni Hardonk from UFC 74 Cain Velasquez vs Jake O' Brien from UFC Fight Night * Shane Carwin vs Neil Wain from UFC 89 Brendan Schaub vs Chase Gormley from UFC on Versus * The "Classic" fights are: Tank Abbott vs Joun Matua from UFC 6 Don Frye vs Thomas Ramirez from UFC 8 Mark Coleman vs Dan Severn from UFC 12 Randy Couture vs Tony Halme from UFC 13 Vitor Belfort vs Tank Abbott from UFC 13 So you get alot of bang for your buck and it's well worth the purchase. * denotes a fight never before released on dvd |  AuthorJames ArchivesNovember 2011 CategoriesAll |
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