What a Great Weekend. GSP beats Shield by decision, and Obama beats Osama by firefight.

05/01/2011

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Yea I'm sorry, I'll have a new review up soon.

BUT NOW, ONTO SOME REAL SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UFC 129 is over and I picked 10 out of the 12 fights correctly, having only miscalled the Nate Diaz and Charlie Valencia fights. There were four mentionable things that showed from this UFC card:

The Janitor still fighting - Vladimir Matyushenko took only 20 seconds to TKO Jason Brilz yesterday night. The 40 year old Belrusian seems to be following in the shoes of Randy Couture and is resisting father time. Now I'm not going to say that he's as good as Couture is now, but he is picking up speed. Since returning to the UFC, he is 4-1.

Aldo will kill Chad Mendes - Jose Aldo gassed hard last night, but he still managed to turn Mark Hominick into the Elephant Man with expertly planned strikes. His lack of endurance has been explained by both sickness and his hard weight cut due to excess muscle he has put on. Even with both of those factors, he still won four rounds and won a sound decision after beating Hominick up for 20 minutes straight and then being bled on and punched for the last five minutes. Chad Mendes doesn't stand a chance in my book.

Lyoto Machida still awhile from being title contender - Sure, he did beat Couture with a beautiful jumping karate kick to the face last night, but remember that he was fighting Couture. Couture, now hopefully done with MMA, had been on the downslope for awhile and while still having alot of skill, he definently was being passed up by his younger talent. ENTER MACHIDA. He was on a two fight losing streak before last night and is currently only #6 in the LHW division, being behind the overrated Phil Davis, Shogun, Rampage, Rashad, and the champ Jon Jones. Forrest is also only one fight away from moving up so Machida has to pick up the pass and can't afford to be beaten.

GSP failed to finish Shields, maybe he shouldn't move up to fight the spider- I've always been against this super-fight, seeing as one guy would be at a disadvantage due to the weight change (GSP would have to permanently move up to middleweight unless he'd want to be out of shape for the fight and Anderson Silva walks around at like 200 pds or more so it'd be difficult for him to reach it without being drained). If he would've finished Shields, then it would make more sense as GSP would have showed a necessary set of boxing skills that he would need to fight the spider. He lacks the finishing power and if he were to fight the lengthier Silva, I couldn't see him taking the win. I think it would be better if he fought Nick Diaz inste---

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!! OSAMA BIN LADEN IS OFFICIALLY DEAD!!!! I should probably be as excited as the other millions of Americans to see this decade long project end but it seems anti-climactic to me. We were eventually going to catch him so I'm supposed to be excited that we took 10 years to catch him and that we caught him dead? Albeit US soldiers killed him, it still seems like this took too long. I don't really want to spend alot of time on this, seeing as everyone else is whoring this story out and by now everyone has probably heard of it. As far as Al Queida fighting back, not likely. These are the people who were working out of caves. And while I seem to be shit talking the biggest "threats" to Americans, lemme go a step further. Fucking Kim Jon IL, fuck Communists, fuck Libyans, fuck ethnics, fuck all that hate UHMURICAH, and fuck you too. Was it worth the wait? Well it is if you go to 4chan's premier board and see how they are celebrating, but besides that, not really. I'm happy he's dead, but it took too long. Now with that being said, please excuse me as I'm off to watch Team America World Police and chant USA until Obama is finished with his second term in office.
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UFC has done some changing in my absence.

03/29/2011

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Not wanting to spend too much time on this since all of you already know what I'm going to say, but I need to say it. Damn!! I've been doing shitty in my MMA predictions. I correctly predicted wins for Jon Jones, Anderson Silva, Melvin Guillard, and Diego but I fucked up by picking Frankie Edgar and Jon Fitch to win their matches (both drawed their respected opponents) and Lil' Nog to beat up Phil "Mr. Wonderful" Davis. I got cheated on all three of those but they taught me something. They taught me that pretty much every single division is deep with talent (except for LHW and HW where there are only like 5 contenders max in each and most of the title bouts don't go pass the 3rd round) and Phil Davis needs to go fight in Strikeforce. He's obviously not gonna beat Jones so he might as well take on Cavalcante, Babalu, and King Mo so that maybe he'll have a chance for the gold against Dan Henderson. Hell if that don't work he can always move up to HW and retire Herschel Walker.

Speaking of Strikeforce, Zuffa and Dana White bought it earlier this month. After the deal was done, White basically expressed that Paul Daley and Josh Barnett aren't welcome back to the UFC, the UFC doesn't co-promote, there is no merger planned (yet), the woman's division still lacks depth, and business is usual. But this leaves me with a few questions:

1. How long will Strikeforce stay a fighting brand after it's 2 year contract with Showtime is up?

2. Will there be anymore CBS cards?

3. When the fuck is Gina Carano gonna come back?

4. If Cro Cop doesn't retire and fights his last fight on his UFC contract, will he go to Strikeforce? And if so can we please watch him fight Bob Sapp again?

5. Does the UFC now own all of Pro-Elite's video library in addition to Strikeforce's? (I want some more fucking DVDs dammit.)

6. If Josh Barnett wins the HW Grand Prix, will Dana really stay true to his word and not let him back in the UFC?

7. When Antonio Silva comes to the UFC, because you know it's gonna happen, will he dominate the division?

8. If Alaistair Overeem comes to the UFC, we he dominate the division?

9. Will Arlovski ever win under the Strikeforce Banner?

10. And which will Dana take over next? Bellator or King of the Cage?

That's all for now. Tootle-loo!!!
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So wait a sec, you're a saying a psychic octopus exists?

07/12/2010

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Well finally, the World Cup is over. For at least another week, soccer fans will have images of broken ankles, drop-kicking forwards, and the British sucking in their minds. Spain won this year's World Cup by the way. Who'd have guessed that they would've won.

Oh wait, a psychic octopus named Paul did. Before the final match, Paul was presented with two boxes full of mussels. One had Holland's flag on it, and the other had Spain's. Depending on which box he ate from, that would be the country that would win (If he ate from both, then I guess everyone would realize that Paul is a fat ass and they'd restart). He correctly predicted a win for Spain against the Netherlands in the World Cup final on 11 July by eating the mussel in their respective box. His predictions have been 100% correct for the 2010 World Cup and 86% correct overall only incorrectly choosing twice of 14 times. Someone better get him to my house. I need to win a fucking Mega Million bad.

Now that that's out of the way, I have a question of the day. If the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers can only rise every 23 years for 23 days, then how bad would it suck to be behind him at the DMV? He has custom plates, an expired license, and he would hate the flashing of the camera (which would probably cause him to go crazy and kill everyone there). You'd be in line for probably the whole 23 days he's awake. Another thought, what if you were the person at the DMV handling all of his shit? What if he had to retake his driving test due to his age and long absence from driving? Would you look at him and say, "Fuck that shit! I'm not getting any closer to him!", or would you look at the eyeball hanging out of his mouth by optic fibers and think that it can't be that bad?
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Cavs owner challenges/threatens LeBron James

07/08/2010

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Some people will just not let this die. Cavs owner, and now confirmed Witch Doctor, Dan Gilbert just issued this letter/death threat to Lebron and the Cavalier fans:

Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;

As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.

You have given so much and deserve so much more.

In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE"

You can take it to the bank.

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.

This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown "chosen one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow-up to become.

But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Cleveland, Ohio.

The self-declared former "King" will be taking the "curse" with him down south. And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch.

Sleep well, Cleveland.

Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day....

I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:

DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue....

Dan Gilbert
Majority Owner
Cleveland Cavaliers

Jesus Christ this guy is crazy. What are all of your thoughts?

I also promise that not all of my blogs will be about sports. So I'll stop my shit soon.
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ESPN now sucks and some other things.

07/08/2010

34 Comments

 
I've been gone for abit so I'm
I've been gone for a few weeks so I decided that now I'm going to start blogging/raging on shit that's on my mind.

Well I'll start off with what you are all still talking about, LeBron has left Cleveland to go play in Miami with Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade. Now this would have shocked me, since he'd be better off as a Bull in my mind, if it hadn't been for ESPN to blow this whole ordeal out of proportion.

I woke up to SportsCenter early this morning to hear that sources indicated that LeBron will sign with Miami. This did not bother me. I did wish that he would've signed with Chicago, but I won't lose any sleep over it. The thing that pissed me off is that around 80% of the program was about LeBron. And this same program would repeat over and over for about 6 hours. Now, I'm staring at some "special program" titled THE DECISION and I'm ready to break my fucking tv. ESPN has made LeBron waste my fucking day.

Now onto more important shit, UFC 116 was great last Saturday. Leben was amazing in his second fight in 14 days, Stephen Bonnar actually won, and Chris Lytle got submission of the night. Oh yea, and Brock Lesnar "shocked the world" by beating previously 12-0 Shane Carwin. Now, I did call Lesnar beating Carwin. I just did not expect him to finish Shane in the second round by submission. He tarnished two of Carwin's "records" in one fight. He showed that he might have more skill than the haters are giving him and he exposed Carwin's cardio problems. Kudos Mr. Lesnar. Now go mount your wife.

The World Cup is almost over and I don't care. The horns are annoying, I can't watch soccer normally, and the USA is already out. Soccer fans hopefully have been pleased with this year's event, I'll stick with the Super Bowl.

Now for a final thought, some guy in his twenties went to see the new Twilight movie alone and ended up dying. Is this the worst possible flick to be found alone and dead at?
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