Well I've been spending most of the past few months trying to outsource a bit and to be honest, I've been slacking. I've been posting my reviews on message boards all over the place but I haven't been posting many here. You know the drill, here's my thoughts on some of this year's releases that I haven't really touched upon here on HMC.


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Highway 91 - This is easily the best independent zombie film of the year so far. Alot of people have been praising it on the level of it being superior to The Walking Dead but I tend to disagree. Being that I am a fan and friend of Sonny Fernandez, I think that this film has more positives than negatives. The plot is fairly well written, the action scenes are actually choreographed and scored very well, and I was really drawn into the film and I couldn't stop watching it (I felt like I did while I would watch an episode of Dark Shadows). The two main problems were the spotty acting in certain scenes that could rival the voice-over work for most Capcom games and that the special effects felt like a big step down from his usual standard. Solid film overall and I'll keep an eye out for Sonny's future releases.
8/10

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The Millenium Bug - This is another contender for the best independent release of the year. I really dug the prosthetic style of special effects as it made the monster look very cool and gave the scenes it was in a very refreshing feel. Like Highway 91, this film was also affected by bad acting but on a much larger scale. The actors sounded stiff and the lines delivered had less effect because of it. The action scenes could also have been better but overall I was tuned in for the full run of the film and it turned out to be better than most of the schlock that the SyFy channel runs nowadays.
7.5/10

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Killer Yacht Party - Meh. Typical slasher with very predictable yet slightly impossible ending. Haven't we seen a lot of these before? The nudity and gore levels are at a pleasant high but it fails when you don't have interesting characters. In fact, the majority of them annoyed me to tears. One of the main characters, a fairly beautiful looking girl, is treated as though she is Quasimodo. Overall it's ok but it's not something I'll be re-watching anytime soon.
5.5/10

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Eyes of the Chameleon - I'll only say one good thing about this film. It will be a great example of how not to advance your plot when making a movie. I mean it's bad enough that the only thing this film has going for it is the small amounts of nudity and gore that it contains but the main character is the BIGGEST FUCKING BITCH EVER TO GRACE THE SMALL SCREEN. Now this may be due to the actress's horrible acting, not to say she was the only bad actor, but her lines sure don't help her case. When someone close to her is found dead, her first and second reactions are to complain about being woken up and then show mild signs of being sad. WHO THE FUCK ACTS LIKE THAT? It kind of seems like there was something else she said before this part that was cut out, but it's obviously not the case. The ending was also awful, but after all the pacing problems and everything else wrong, I was just happy to see this end.

2/10

 
 
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Even though my main "sponsor" is Sumogorilla, MVD Visual is the only one that sends me stuff to review. This being so, I've decided that I will just start reviewing everything they send me in little updates like so.

Fan of the Dead
This is a fun little documentary following one French George Romero fan's journey to the old sets of Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, and Day of the Dead. It's a good doc but it is presented in a weird fashion. Since the fan is French, they decide to dub English over his French. I really wish that they would have subtitled it as it sounds like two people talking at once and it gives me a bit of a headache.

Rating: 8/10
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The Final 24 Series (Versace, Simpson, Joplin, Moon)
These are nifty little 60 minute shorts covering the last 24 hours of dead superstars lives. It sounds like something that would air on Tru Tv, but I believe this to be of higher quality. MVD sent over the Gianni Versace, Nicole Brown Simpson, Janis Joplin, and Keith Moon dvds. They are interesting to watch and I hope that they send me the new ones when they come out in August.

Ratings: 10/10. My favorite two are Keith Moon and Janis Joplin.
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Vampire Vixens
Another soft core porno in similar fashion of I Am Virgin. The only difference? This is better. And while I Am Virgin was a spoof, this takes the Emmanuel in Space route.

Rating: 8/10, if you are interested in that kind of thing that is.
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The Adventures of Electra Elf
This is a low budget tv show that I never watched during it's original run. It's ok as it is sort of funny and it is a fun superhero series. If it had syndication in my area, and I didn't have more that 15 channels, then it would have probably had been a weekly show that I would watch.

Rating: 7/10
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Thanks to MVD Visual for the screeners. And until next time horror fans, keep the fear alive!
 
 
Today is April 29th, 2010. Freddy fans everywhere are going insane with the remake hitting theaters tomorrow and a new documentary on the horizon. Now I've already gotten 1-3 reviewed so that leaves only 5 more to go. Since, in my opinion, the best three are out of the way, I'm just going to briefly go over the remainder of the series.
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A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 4: The Dream Master

Plot: Freddy is back to kill off Joey, Kinkaid, and Kristen. Unfortunately for their friends (Alice, Dan, Debbie, and Sheila) Kristen accidentally leads Freddy to them and gives him a new cast of victims.
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My Thoughts: This film wasn't that bad. It had pretty good kills, a fun story, and the acting was so-so (Englund once again is great as Freddy).
 
The things that I have problems with are minor. Instead of Patricia Arquette reprising her role, we are stuck with Tuesday Knight who is just akward in this role. The ending, while having spectacular effects, also feels like a cop-out. The way that Alice "defeats" Freddy is pretty lame.
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Verdict: 8/10

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A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 5: The Dream Child

Plot: Alice is back and guess what? She's pregnant. Freddy is now using her sleeping, unborn baby as a vessel to get into her and her friend's dreams.
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My Thoughts: This is without a doubt, my least favorite movie in the series. This has so much that brings it down. The one-liners from Freddy are more prominent, but the aren't funny at all. They are just plain stupid.

The kills are also disappointing. They are still imaginative, but they just aren't any fun (Not to mention that the kills are seperated far apart by pointless scenes and other nonsense). One kill, involving a comic book styled fantasy, is the cheesiest thing I have ever seen. Can you say "Super Freddy"?

The ending is just annoying. After the sweet effects from part 4's ending, you would expect more from this one right? No. It's much worse and it keeps being broken down because Alice's "son" Jacob is there to say some of my least favorite lines in a movie ever. Skip this unless you are a massive fan of Freddy. Englund is the only major redeeming quality of this flick.
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Verdict: 5/10.

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Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Plot: "John Doe" is stalked by our good ol' pal Freddy. He is apparently the last of the Elm Street children. Well "John" ends up, unfortunately at a detention center for juvenile delinquents. Freddy follows suit.
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My Thoughts: This is the one film that most Nightmare fans put on the bottom of the list of Top Nightmare on Elm Street flicks. But to me, it is a guilty pleasure. I know that it is bad, I know the kills are cheesy, but yet I enjoy watching the film again and again.

The acting is perhaps the best thing about this movie. Englund has yet another solid performance and delivers some truely funny moments. Breckin Meyer, like Johnny Depp did in the original Nightmare on Elm Street and Patricia Arquette had done in Dream Warriors, starts his career off nice with a memorable role as Spencer, a huge stoner who is easy prey for Freddy. Alice Cooper also has cameo as Freddy's step-father and Rosanne and Tom Arnold are just kind of there.

The cheesy atmosphere, and the corny kills do hinder the film. But like I said, I somehow enjoyed this.
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Verdict: 6.5/10.

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Wes Craven's New Nightmare

Plot: Heather Langenkamp is haunted byher past involvement with the Nightmare on Elm Street series. It now seems that Freddy is actually real and is going after Nancy's son Dylan.
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My Thoughts: This film is another example of a good sequel. What did this film do right that the previous few didn't?

- It was serious and not too corny. This was a great idea since Freddy is supposed to actually exist.

- It is genuinely creepy and throwsback to a few classic kills of the original series.

- Freddy's look was updated in a good way. Freddy looked good in a jacket.

Now the film is slowed down alot by boring parts and some scenes that are a little confusing. That's the only major problem I had with the film, well that and the fact that you are reminded that the Nightmare on Elm Street films are just films. It sort of taintly a little bit of the horror.

Englund does a great job as both Freddy and Himself, Wes Craven was a dandy, and it was nice to see Heather Langenkamp again. Definently recommended.
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Verdict: 8.5/10

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Freddy vs Jason

Plot: Freddy is in hell. He can't come back because noone is afraid. He enlists Jason as a "messenger" to bring fear back to Elm Street. But after Jason won't stop killing people, Freddy gets pissed and It's on like Donkey Kong.
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My Thoughts: This movie could have been alot better and was one sided in Jason's favor. Jason get's more kills, more focus, and he even gets the best moments in the movie. It was much more like watching a Friday the 13th movie than a Nightmare movie.I will say though, that Englund did a better job than Ken Kirzinger. He made Freddy even funnier than usual and exceeded my expectations. The acting in general was also decent, except for Katharine Isabelle as Gibb (The scene where she is screaming is one of the worst faces any actress has ever made).

The kills were pretty good, the characters were memorable, and there was even a good amount of nudity. The story has problems, there was little love for Freddy, and the ending is a cheap way to set up a sequel that never got made. Freddy vs Jason is only enjoyable because of Englund's awesome performance, the kills, and the short fight near the end of the movie by Freddy and Jason.
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Verdict: 7/10
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Stay tuned as we wrap up the Freddy-Thon tomorrow with a fan film and the remake.

 
 
I like to mix it up so here's something new. I'll give a synopsis and then I'll tell you if you should get it and why. Then I'll rate it.


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Warning!!!! Pedophile Released
A 12 year old is raped and impregnated by a man named Malachai. Her life is ruined and she turns into a drug addicted prostitute.
Basically watch her suffer for like 100 minutes while you wait to find out how madly her and Malachai are in love.

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My Verdict: Avoid this. It is a cool idea but it isn't executed well. Shane Ryan has a horrible performance and the movie is badly jumbled up in parts. With that being said Kai Lanette was amazing and I'm still waiting for APSK 3-D.

6/10

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Banshee!!!
Teens, who are camping, get killed off by a banshee. Simple enough.

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My Verdict: Get it. Well, get it tommorrow that is. I got this dvd back in January but it won't be released to the public until tommorow, March 23, 2010.

It is a fantastic example of a modern day, low-budget, B-horror movie. It looks like it would air on the SyFy channel, but it's better than that crap. Good gory fun that is only brought down by some questionable CGI and questionable acting. The banshee looks pheonominal, the ending is sweet, and the movie even has a cameo by Don and Murph. Check it out on DVD or the Chiller channel.

8/10

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Orlok The Vampire (in 3-D)
It's Nosferatu, but in 3-D! Oh and you can also watch it in 2-D too if you want.

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My Verdict: Get this too. It's an awesome print of Nosferatu and the 3-D is cool enough to seal the deal. The DVD even has an intro by Lloyd Kaufman. LLOYD FUCKING KAUFMAN!!!!

10/10

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I Am Virgin
You've seen I Am Legend right? Now imagine the same apocalyptic scenario only the main character isn't Will Smith, He's a white virgin, and hundreds of undead vampire babes want his cock. Sounds reasonable.
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My Verdict: Skip it. It's not worth it. I tried to watch it but the acting was just so horrible. The humor is subtle and evident but it can't save the flick. It's great quality is the fact that it has alot of fake tits in it.

4.5/10

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Thanks to :

Shane Ryan, Cinema Epoch and Alter Ego Cinema for Warning!!! Pedophile Released.

Andrew Gernhard for Banshee

and Music Video Distributors for I Am Virgin and Orlok the Vampire (in 3-D)