As some of you may know, I had to sweep my computer and delete everything on it. Unfortunately that meant like 6 reviews, 3 of my movie scripts, and a few downloaded videos were lost (Like Metalface, some Halloween Fan Films, and alot of stuff from Retro Horror Remix). So let me make up for lost time by posting some short reviews on a bunch of horror flicks. This is part one of three that I will be posting within the next few days.
Gutterballs
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Plot: Two rival bowling teams (not kidding) get into a scrap at a bowling alley the night before their big "face-off". One of the women gets raped by three of the opposing male bowlers after her teammates have left and she is traumatized. The next night, the two teams go against each other while a killer is running rampant throughout the alley.
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My Thoughts: This being a slasher throwback, it still had managed to make some original and creative kills (including a gruesome and satisfying scene where a woman is sodomized with a bowling pin, someone being killed with a ball polisher, and even someone strangling on a fat, juicy dick). I found myself applauding this movie throughout almost every-time someone was offed. In fact, I have three problems with Gutterballs.
Number One: The Characters are dumb as shit. People are leaving and not coming back and yet that doesn't bother anyone until there is like three people left.
Number Two: The Story is a tad unrealistic. Two rival bowling teams made up of people in their late teens or early twenties who rumble whenever they are near eachother? What is this? The fucking roaring twenties? I'd be more believable if it were two groups of nerds, but these are glam, hot, hipsters/hookers! They should be at home talking about MTV and plastic surgery, not bowling.
Number Three: The twist. It's not horrible, but it seems a bit unrealistic and a tad predictable. I won't spoil it, but something just doesn't feel right about it.
All in all, Gutterballs is one hell of a way to spend a night. Watch it with other horror-fiends, and be graced by one of the best indy films of the new millenia.
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The Verdict: 9/10. Go watch it.
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Plot: Two rival bowling teams (not kidding) get into a scrap at a bowling alley the night before their big "face-off". One of the women gets raped by three of the opposing male bowlers after her teammates have left and she is traumatized. The next night, the two teams go against each other while a killer is running rampant throughout the alley.
-----------------------------------------------
My Thoughts: This being a slasher throwback, it still had managed to make some original and creative kills (including a gruesome and satisfying scene where a woman is sodomized with a bowling pin, someone being killed with a ball polisher, and even someone strangling on a fat, juicy dick). I found myself applauding this movie throughout almost every-time someone was offed. In fact, I have three problems with Gutterballs.
Number One: The Characters are dumb as shit. People are leaving and not coming back and yet that doesn't bother anyone until there is like three people left.
Number Two: The Story is a tad unrealistic. Two rival bowling teams made up of people in their late teens or early twenties who rumble whenever they are near eachother? What is this? The fucking roaring twenties? I'd be more believable if it were two groups of nerds, but these are glam, hot, hipsters/hookers! They should be at home talking about MTV and plastic surgery, not bowling.
Number Three: The twist. It's not horrible, but it seems a bit unrealistic and a tad predictable. I won't spoil it, but something just doesn't feel right about it.
All in all, Gutterballs is one hell of a way to spend a night. Watch it with other horror-fiends, and be graced by one of the best indy films of the new millenia.
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The Verdict: 9/10. Go watch it.
Hanger
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Plot: A hooker is killed when her pimp tries to give her a home-made abortion. Eighteen years later, the surviving fetus has grown into a horribly deformed and very pissed off teen with a sense of revenge.
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My Thoughts: Not much to say about this one. It's not better than Ryan Nicholson's previous endeavor (Gutterballs) and it in fact might be the worst film he has made to date. The acting sucks and the humor is sub-par. The only thing making this film worth while at all is the gore, which is fucking disgusting yet well played. I'd reccomend it to hardcore splatter fans or people who don't mind feeling nauseous while watching a movie.
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The Verdict: 6.5/10. Blarg.
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Plot: A hooker is killed when her pimp tries to give her a home-made abortion. Eighteen years later, the surviving fetus has grown into a horribly deformed and very pissed off teen with a sense of revenge.
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My Thoughts: Not much to say about this one. It's not better than Ryan Nicholson's previous endeavor (Gutterballs) and it in fact might be the worst film he has made to date. The acting sucks and the humor is sub-par. The only thing making this film worth while at all is the gore, which is fucking disgusting yet well played. I'd reccomend it to hardcore splatter fans or people who don't mind feeling nauseous while watching a movie.
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The Verdict: 6.5/10. Blarg.
I.D.S (AKA Incest Death Squad)
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Plot: An incestuous brother and sister, Jeb and Amber Wayne, carry out the message of their deceased father and "God". Unfortunately the message is to punish sinful tourists by taking them to their farm house and killing them while preaching their cause. It becomes even more tense when our main character, a reporter looking for a story on Chronic Wasting Disease, travels to these deep parts of Wisconsin.
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My Thoughts: I originally saw this back at Horror Society's B-Movie Madness 2 Festival in January up in Chicago. I remember that when when the credits rolled, there was only about 20 of the 80 plus people still in the theater. This could have happened for a few reasons.
First off, it was the last film showed. It followed two horror shorts (Thirsty and Hypochondriac) and two films done by cult genre director Kevin Tenney (Night of the Demons and his latest zombie flick Brain Dead). This meant that the movie started at about 10:45 and got over after midnight. Some people do have other shit to do after all.
Or it could have been because of the extreme scenes of nudity, violence, and religious dialect. It could have overwhelmed the crowd seeing as it was more hardcore than the other films that were shown and that the event was general admission, meaning anyone could just pop in at any moment to see the movies. If the people attending weren't particularly used to this smut on the screen, then they might not have been too enthusiastic to see it to the end.
This disappointed me as the Q&A with the cast and director was cancelled and all I had to remember the film by was a DVD signed by director Cory J. Udler and one of the stars (Greg Johnson).
Now the film itself was actually pretty good. It was disturbing, had some pretty good acting from the lead actors (with some bad performances by some of the lesser roles), and the idea was there throughout the whole film. The only big nitpick I have is the ending. It felt a bit rushed, a bit unsatisfying, and it shamelessly opened up for a sequel (Which is on the way in September). It kind of tarnished the whole mood that the previous scenes had put into place. I'd recommend this to splatter fans or people, like me, who are suckers for horror with religious context. Watch this and then take a nice long shower.
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The Verdict: 8/10. I BELIEVE IN JEB WAYNE.
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Plot: An incestuous brother and sister, Jeb and Amber Wayne, carry out the message of their deceased father and "God". Unfortunately the message is to punish sinful tourists by taking them to their farm house and killing them while preaching their cause. It becomes even more tense when our main character, a reporter looking for a story on Chronic Wasting Disease, travels to these deep parts of Wisconsin.
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My Thoughts: I originally saw this back at Horror Society's B-Movie Madness 2 Festival in January up in Chicago. I remember that when when the credits rolled, there was only about 20 of the 80 plus people still in the theater. This could have happened for a few reasons.
First off, it was the last film showed. It followed two horror shorts (Thirsty and Hypochondriac) and two films done by cult genre director Kevin Tenney (Night of the Demons and his latest zombie flick Brain Dead). This meant that the movie started at about 10:45 and got over after midnight. Some people do have other shit to do after all.
Or it could have been because of the extreme scenes of nudity, violence, and religious dialect. It could have overwhelmed the crowd seeing as it was more hardcore than the other films that were shown and that the event was general admission, meaning anyone could just pop in at any moment to see the movies. If the people attending weren't particularly used to this smut on the screen, then they might not have been too enthusiastic to see it to the end.
This disappointed me as the Q&A with the cast and director was cancelled and all I had to remember the film by was a DVD signed by director Cory J. Udler and one of the stars (Greg Johnson).
Now the film itself was actually pretty good. It was disturbing, had some pretty good acting from the lead actors (with some bad performances by some of the lesser roles), and the idea was there throughout the whole film. The only big nitpick I have is the ending. It felt a bit rushed, a bit unsatisfying, and it shamelessly opened up for a sequel (Which is on the way in September). It kind of tarnished the whole mood that the previous scenes had put into place. I'd recommend this to splatter fans or people, like me, who are suckers for horror with religious context. Watch this and then take a nice long shower.
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The Verdict: 8/10. I BELIEVE IN JEB WAYNE.
The Monster and The Ape
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Plot: A Robot is stolen from a laboratory, an ape kills some people, and the search is on. Sounds like a bad sitcom, but it's actually a cheesy 15 part serial originally shown in drive-in theaters during the 1940's.
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My Thoughts: This has to be one of the coolest yet strangest DVDs I've been sent to date. MVD Visual and Cheesy Flicks sent this to me, and I couldn't have been happier that they did. It's schlocky vintage fun that's released so the young folk get to see what granddad was watching after he came back from the war.
To be honest, the plot is ridiculous, the acting is pretty bad, the effects are cheesy, and it takes about 7 and a half hours to watch it from beginning to end. But that just adds to the charm of it (Well except for the run-time. That might be a little disparaging if you don't watch it in separate portions).
The print quality is excellent, and the dvd is chocked full of vintage ads for even more nostalgic material for great-grandma Sue to ramble about. This might be my sleeper pick for DVD Release of the year.
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The Verdict: 7/10 for the serial, 10/10 for the DVD and presentation.
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Plot: A Robot is stolen from a laboratory, an ape kills some people, and the search is on. Sounds like a bad sitcom, but it's actually a cheesy 15 part serial originally shown in drive-in theaters during the 1940's.
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My Thoughts: This has to be one of the coolest yet strangest DVDs I've been sent to date. MVD Visual and Cheesy Flicks sent this to me, and I couldn't have been happier that they did. It's schlocky vintage fun that's released so the young folk get to see what granddad was watching after he came back from the war.
To be honest, the plot is ridiculous, the acting is pretty bad, the effects are cheesy, and it takes about 7 and a half hours to watch it from beginning to end. But that just adds to the charm of it (Well except for the run-time. That might be a little disparaging if you don't watch it in separate portions).
The print quality is excellent, and the dvd is chocked full of vintage ads for even more nostalgic material for great-grandma Sue to ramble about. This might be my sleeper pick for DVD Release of the year.
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The Verdict: 7/10 for the serial, 10/10 for the DVD and presentation.
Thanks to:
Ryan Nicholson for the Gutterballs and Hanger DVDs. Extra thanks for signing them and for describing them as "educational" dvds on the mailing package.
Cory J. Udler and Greg Johnson for selling and signing the DVD to me back in January. Too bad I didn't realize that more of the crew was there or else I could have had the whole bunch sign it.
MVD Visual and Cheesy Flicks for "The Monster and The Ape" DVD. Stay in touch.
You can buy Incest Death Squad here, Gutterballs and Hanger here and here, and The Monster and The Ape here.
Stay tuned for parts 2 and 3 of this series.
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