Yes it’s St. Patricks day, closer to the 18th actually, and yes I am once again caving in to the old tradition that a lot of reviewers do involving reviewing horror films that deal with a specific date on that specific date (Yes I am ashamed of myself and I am officially a sheep). I am doing this one a bit differently though and, while this is only my second retrospective of an entire series, I’m going to do this in one shot as opposed to over several days, as I just spent all of my St. Patrick’s Day eating Chinese and Mexican food and watching this crap. I wrote some notes, or rather scribblings, during the marathon and I also may or may not have fallen asleep a few times. I’m also only going to leave my thoughts on each film to five sentences or less. I mean, I’m celebrating a shit-talking leprechaun for god’s sake, give me a break. I also have to add that while this is not the first time I've seen any of these films, it is the first time I've seen them all in a row.
Leprechaun - The first in the series is a hoot and a hollar. It’s corny as shit but violent and entertaining. Warwick Davis has an amazing performance as the wee lad from Ireland (Rhyming failed) and he speaks in rhymes to further drive the humor throughout the rough plot. Jennifer Aniston is also in this, but Davis steals the show and cements his place as the series only reason to watch. 7/10
Leprechaun 2 - The leprechaun is missing some of his gold again, so it’s time to kill absolutely everything in his path. There’s also some hoo-hah about a tree and some love interest the leprechaun has but they are both put on the back burner. 5/10*
Leprechaun 3 - The leprechaun is in Vegas now and unfortunately it’s not his last stop. The plots just seem to get worse and worse as the sequels are being shit out. This one is okay I guess but I’m probably never going to sit through it again. In fact, I probably won’t sit though any of these again. This marathon is killing me, or maybe that’s the food. 6/10
Leprechaun 4 In Space - Why in the fuck did they make this piece of shit? Plot sucks, acting sucks, and everything else sucks too. Miguel Nunez doesn’t even save this trash. If you want to watch one of your horror idols being raped more correctly in space, try Jason X. 1/10*
Leprchaun In Da Hood - Why did they think would be a better idea for a film? I mean it’s a lot better than the fourth one, and Davis about back on cue, but this is just a mind numbingly stupid concept. Well the kills are better, the acting’s better, and it’s nice to see Ice T in a role that probably suits him. 5/10*
Leprechaun Back 2 Tha Hood - Wait, they made a sequel? Even after they made the poor choice of making Leprechaun In Da Hood, who the fuck decided to try again at the same presence and make it even worse? It’s mindboggling! The ending will leave you fucking dumbstruck as this easily is the second worst in the series. But hey, atleast it’s not the worst. 3/10
Overall I give the series a 5 out of ten. It's a pain in the ass to actually sit through all of the movies, but the series does contain a few decent/ok flicks.
* = I fell asleep during it.
Plot: Harry Warden, a serial killer donning mining gear and wielding a pickaxe, is going on a murderous rampage on Valentine's Day because of the misfortune that happened in his past and because the townspeople didn't follow his instructions to not celebrate Valentine's Day. -----------------------------
In this modern era, it’s no secret to anybody, except maybe the younger audiences, the horror genre isn’t up to par with what it was in the past. Now and then, there’ll be a film that has horror fanatics freaking out, praising it with all of the glory of the gods, and there is always someone who talks about how that film might start a new wave of great genre pieces that will kick-start a horror renaissance and end up as milestones to look back on in the future. One of those certain instances was the glorious 3D remake of the fantastic 80s slasher film “My Bloody Valentine” that was released 31 years ago today.
The film was one of the many holiday themed horror flicks produced in the 80s that followed suit after Black Christmas and Halloween were released in the 70s, and was also one of the most notable slashers released in the wake of Friday the 13th’s success. Unlike all of the other films in its specific category of holiday slashers, MBV is a kick in teeth and then some.
The killer “Harry Warden” dons a coal miners outfit and wields a pickaxe and he shows that he sure knows how to use it as he delivers some of the most satisfying kills that, while being simplistic, have become classic death scenes. Besides the kills, other scenes such as the heart in the box of chocolates, the body in the dryer, and the encounter in the coal mine have a surrealistic tone to them that is barely matched when compared to other similar films (One that comes to mind is the raft scene in the Burning). In fact this film is also one of the most heavily edited slasher films of all time and had all of the originally jaw-droppingly amazing kills toned down from a 15 on the awesome scale to about a 7 or 7.5. Luckily Lionsgate released a DVD around the same time that the remake was in theaters that contained all of the uncut deaths as they originally were before the MPAA raped them. If you haven’t checked this flick out, shame on you. Go out and buy it now!!!
9.5/10
So I was sitting in my room this morning, playing Dead Rising 2 and eating some flapjacks, when something came across my mind. I looked up at horror movie posters and then I turned around and looked at my monsterous wall of DVDs. Now, I was suddenly overcome with a major reminder of something that I needed to do. I NEEDED TO WRITE A NEW REVIEW. It's been over a month since my last review but I'm back from my hiatus with a new "segment" I would like to call "Movies I Like". It's an easy way for you all non-sheeple out there to get into my head and get to know more about my taste in film and TV shows. And today I have four choices that are all very different from each other.
First off I'll start with a tv show. An MMA TV show in fact. It's TapOut, a show that aired on Versus back in 2007 and is now on DVD with all 20 episodes in their censored entirety.
The main premise of the show is that the TapOut guys (Mask, Punkass, and Skyskrape) are in search of new fighters to help push their label so that it becomes even bigger than it is. There is a fight each episode involving the fighter that's being highlighted. Besides seeing how the fighters prepare for their fights, you also get to see the TapOut crew's zany antics along the way and an inside look of how their business is run.
This is one of those shows that I have to watch all night because it's so good. I've done that with other shows like Tales From The Crypt, Tales From The Darkside, The Ultimate Fighter, and 1st and Ten (Oh I'll get to that eventually). It's just addicting to watch and I definitely recommend this to anyone who is a fan of Reality TV or Mixed Martial Arts.
Verdict: 9.5/10 for the whole series on DVD. R.I.P Mask.
The next one is sort of hard to recommend to you guys. It's got goofy computerized special effects, an anticlimactic ending, and John Leguizamo playing a sometimes funny but really annoying role as a clown. That's right, it's a movie that people love to shit on, 1997's Spawn.
When a hired killer named Al is dicked over by his boss, "Violator" and the Devil himself, he is hellbent for revenge as the world's greatest Anti-Hero aptly named "SPAWN". When his world is turned upside down, he looks for a way back to sanctity all in the name of love.
As a big fan of the comic books, I rather enjoyed this flick. It's not fantastic but it's still a good adaption of a dark comic book. In fact, it's one of my favorite comic book movies. Michael Jai White does a great job as our hero (as does Martin Sheen as Wynn), the story is actually written fairly well for the screen, the action is cool and it's basically a nerd's wet dream. In all it's a tame dream that could involve more tense orgasmic bliss, but hopefully there will eventually be a sequel for that (and may White reprise his role).
Verdict: 8.5/10
This next one is a sports movie. Well, it's a sports movie that's also a horror-comedy from 1995. It's a wacky, crazy, fun filled 87 minutes of cheese about a killer with a basketball mask and some of the most inventive ideas of killing/ hurting people (Well, not entirely). I'm of course referring to "Night of the Dribbler". The film stars the late great character actor Fred Travalena in several roles ranging from announcer, to reporter, to coach, to detective.
This is definitely one of those really dumb movies that just cheers me the fuck up whenever I even put it near my DVD player. It's got it's share of dumb jokes, but it's got it's share of goofy puns and enough schlock to keep cheese fans like myself rewatching it over and over. I dare to say that I like it more than most Troma flicks.
Verdict: The casual viewer may give it below a 5, but I give it an 8/10. Code Red did horror fans a great justice by releasing this. Keep a look out for more classic and rare horror from them in the future.
The last film is my favorite of the bunch and it's quality on the screen is reflected in the various other reviews all over the internet. It's one of my favorite horror flicks of all time, and it's Dark Night of the Scarecrow.
The movie is about a young girl named Marylee and her friend Bubba, a mentally challenged 30-40 something year old that is hated by the "working men" of the community. When Marylee is viciously attacked by a dog and thought to be dead, these "men" exact revenge by chasing Bubba into a cornfield where they unjustly execute him as he is hiding in a scarecrow outfit. When these "men" are found not responsible for their actions in the court of law, they are mysteriously being picked off one by one in "accidents". Is Bubba killing these men from beyond the grave?
I can't find anything that I hate about this film. Simply put, it's the best made-for-television movie I have ever seen. Not just horror either. It's the best of all the genres. It has a brilliant script, superb acting all around (especially Larry Drake as Bubba), inventive deaths, great atmosphere, perfect scenery, and suspense that would make Hitchcock tip his hat.
I'll sum up my thoughts on this film with just a few quotes from genre greats:
"Terrific script...terrific film!" - Ray Bradbury "Scary as Hell!" - Stuart Gordon "Mar-vel-ous! I was terrified!" - Vincent Price
Verdict: 10/10. A classic that you must watch.
 Plot: Nancy and her 3 friends are being stalked by a maniac. But this is not just a normal stalker. This is Fred Krueger (AKA Freddy). Freddy goes where no other killer can as he kills his victims in the one place they are most vulnerable, their dreams. ---------------------------------------------- My Thoughts: Now since I'm guessing that you the reader are a horror fan, the chances are you've seen this movie. Chances are, you are only reading this because it pertains to quite possibly the most iconic killer of all time. Well, in preparation for perhaps the most controversial remake/reimagining of all time, I'm hosting this 4 day Freddy-Thon to give the original series it's due, review a few indy fan films, talk about my fascination with the films, and review the remake on the 30th. I'm also watching all the films on VHS (Hooray!).
Now, to get this out of the way, I am in love with this movie and I have sited it as my favorite horror flick of all time. I own every single Nightmare on Elm Street DVD ever made (except the new one) and the VHS boxset. I have grown up with Freddy. No matter how old I got, I still had his figure with me. I dreamt of Freddy, watched Freddy and basically idolized him. He is easily the greatest thing to happen to my life. Now, to the film itself:
It is a masterpiece of cinema. It had everything that could possibly make it a great film. It had great acting, notably Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund and Johnny Depp; it had great effects and amazing illusions; It had a great concept, story, and a director who knew what to do. The mood that was set by the dark idea of a child murderer exacting his revenge on high schoolers from beyond the grave is surely one that will be remembered for a long time to come. I could go on for days.
Since this is a classic, I will leave the rest in the readers hands and I won't go any further with this review. If you haven't seen this, then you better soon or Freddy will get you. ----------------------------------------------------------- Verdict: 10/10. One, Two, Freddy's Coming For You! ---------------------------------------------------------- Stay tuned for A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge.
 Plot: Pretty much the same plot line as Dracula only with differently named characters, such as Count Dracula being Count Orlok. ----------------------------------------------------------- My Thoughts: This was one of the first silent movies i had ever seen, the others being Phantom of the Opera and the original Frankenstein. This movie is absolutely brilliant. The story was a really good adaption of Bram Stoker's novel. Even without speech or screaming, this movie has managed to still be better than some of the movies that come out in the new millenium. The music is fantastic and the movie is clear and easy to follow. I think it was even a bit before it's time and is an essential must watch for horror movie fanatics young and old. --------------------------------------------------------- Verdict: 10/10, an instant classic
 Plot: A boy named Jason drowned in Camp Crystal Lake and now someone is killing the councilors. Who's the killer? Could it be Jason, coming back to get his revenge? --------------------------------------------------- My thoughts: This is an awesome movie. If you were growing up in the 80s, this was a must watch movie. The kills were pretty good for 1980 (Thank you Tom Savini!). It keeps you thinking and guessing who is killing everyone. I loved the plot line and the ending was great. If you haven't seen this, then you absolutely have to ------------------------------------------- verdict: 10/10, a classic slasher.
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